The relationship we have with ourselves has a bigger impact on our lives than we think.
Think of it like this. If you’ve always believed you weren’t smart, would you believe someone else if they told you otherwise? You might be flattered and accept the compliment, but would it be enough to change your mind?
Now imagine the impact of this belief on your future. When this belief goes unchecked, it sends ripple effects into your life choices, career decisions, and relationships. You continue to seek out proof that confirms you’re not smart enough, and miss opportunities because you don’t believe you’re capable.
And all of this is because of a poor relationship with yourself– a lack of self-love.
How can you fix this?
Building a healthy relationship with yourself starts with how you love yourself. Self-love is a combination of many things that ultimately impacts how we view ourselves. When we lack self love, we put ourselves second, fail to see our strengths, become easily influenced by others, and ultimately feel unhappy. Positive self-love habits build confidence, promote self-reflection, and increase self-esteem.
Here are 6 changes you can make you can make to improve your relationship with yourself.
Cut out the negative self-talk:
Negative self-talk is one of the root causes of poor self-esteem and a lack of confidence.
Having a judgemental, harsh, and damaging internal dialogue, only sets you up for toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviours, and poor mental health.
Pouring from an empty cup is to give from a place of deficiency.
Prioritizing your wellbeing sets you up to give from a place of abundance. Placing others needs before yours might feel manageable for a small time. But when exhaustion and a lack of self-care catch up, you might find yourself burn-out, angry, and feeling unfulfilled.
Recognize what makes you unique:
Your uniqueness is your superpower. When you honour your strengths and weaknesses, you open yourself to discovering the power of being you. Accepting and nurturing your uniqueness is important to building security and a strong identity.
Celebrate your wins:
Celebrating your wins does two things: strengthens your commitment to yourself and primes you to achieve more.
Celebrating your victories is one way to acknowledge the good that you’ve done, and restore yourself mentally (and maybe even physically), which in turn helps to improve your relationships and your overall quality of life.
Stop judging others:
How you judge others can be a reflection of how you view yourself. Judgement can come from a place of jealousy, an attempt to cover up insecurities, or a belief that you’ll never achieve or deserve what the other has. If you’ve judged another person, it’s more about your relationship with mistakes or differences than it is about the other person.
The more you love yourself, the less likely you are to judge others.
Practice self compassion:
Self compassion ties closely with how you face challenges. When you respond compassionately towards yourself in crises or challenges, you strengthen your ability to tackle difficult situations.
In comparison, when you respond to yourself with shame, anger, or disappointment in sensitive situations, you damage your capacity to respond in a healthy and productive manner.